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Funny thing happend a little over a week ago. According to the calendar, I turned 40 years old. I don’t feel 40, but I don’t feel that great about myself either…after about 6 months of running and doing half marathons, I’ve let myself get comfortable and I’ve packed the pounds back on. I don’t really care about the way I look…but now, at 40, I guess I should start worrying about my health. So I’m back at it tomorrow. I will be using this blog to post my daily…yes daily weight, in order to keep my ass motivated on the prize…a long healthy life. I haven’t hopped on that scale in a few weeks, but I’m sure after a trip to New Orleans and Thanksgiving it’s going to be near my all-time high. No worries, as long as it starts to go down.
So, I’ll post a picture of me standing on the scale every morning, and I’ll log all of the stuff I cram down my throat, whether it be good or bad for me. Maybe this will help, maybe it won’t, but it’s my holy shit, I’m 40 pledge to myself. We’ll see how it all goes.
So I started my grad classes again tonight. I wasn’t looking forward to it all. In fact, I’m kind of burned out on all this school. I look forward to a day when I can come home and not have to worry about much of anything. Those days are still a couple of years away.
But a funny thing happened when I got to class. I got excited about school and a project I’m going to work on this semester. I guess the time away from school made me want to stay away, but the second I got back, things got better. So that’s a good thing I suppose.
I also went for a run tonight. Felt good, even though it was hot and humid. I was tired, but I feel like a million bucks now. Half Marathon in November. Gotta get ready.
Last time I wrote, I was still in a bit of a funk, but things seem to be changing…and that’s a good thing.
School started…with the kids. It’s nice to have the little turds back in the building. All I’ve heard is how horrible this group of kids are, but through the first week, they don’t seem so bad. That pisses me off when a group of kids gets labeled. More often than not, they simply choose to act that way after they hear how they are perceived by teachers.
I’m also almost over my little (big) breakup. I find I rarely think about her anymore and I realize how lucky I am to have great family, friends and co-workers in my life. I’m not 100 percent used to having the apartment all to myself, but when I really think about it, I know it’s better. I used to have to walk on eggshells around here. Now I can walk around in my underwear and watch what ever I want on the TV whenever I want to. Too bad Netflix doesn’t have porn on it.
Last night I ran in a five mile race. I did horrible, but I ran the entire way and I hadn’t been able to do that lately. This weather just sucks for running, but every time I finish a long run I just feel fucking great. So I’ve made the decision that next week, if it doesn’t cool down, I’m just going to suck it up and wake up early and go for a two or three mile run. I know I will feel better if I do.
Finally, it’s been awesome getting e-mails from my mom who is in Turkey right now. She is getting a whole new perspective on the muslim world. She is kind of big timing it and spending time with Turkish politicians and the US Ambassador to Turkey and she is learning how lame our country is when it comes to this religion. I’m proud of her for keeping an open mind and traveling somewhere like that (even though at times, she says they have been escorted places by armed military guards).
Later. I’ll try and post more often…feels good to write.
As we announced last week, In 2012, we’ll be running 52 marathons and putting on 52 Do Life 5Ks in an effort to raise money for charity, get together with thousands of inspiring and likeminded people, and have, what we think can be, one of the coolest, most emotional years ever.
The response we…
Sometimes it takes someone to show their true colors to really make you feel better about yourself. This happened tonight and I feel better about myself because I realized how poorly someone else thinks of herself. Sad really. Time to move on because for the first time in a long time, I feel really, really good.
This blog will now be about running, roller derby, beer and REAL friends.
Tonight I’m going to watch some Roller Derby. I remember this shit from when I was a little kid in the 70’s. It was on TV and everything. Well, apparently it’s back. So I prepped last night by watching this great movie that was filmed in Austin. I only hope it’s half as good as the movie was. And I hope the beer is cold.
Just got home to a half empty apartment. I was sad for a few minutes…then I started planning how I would make it look and I felt better. Home office baby.
Then I saw a bunch of dog hair that probably should have been cleaned up before she left (I know what would have happened if I had been the one to leave it) and it made me a little mad, but it passed quickly.
Five years of memories down the drain…but as the great Tony Soprano once said, “She’s dead to me.”
And now…she really is. Her loss, not mine.
(except she left the damn dryer. Lazy bitch. Should I be a man and bring it back, or throw the fucking thing in the canal?)
Funny…even when I tell a little white lie, I feel guilty. I never like to do it. To me, my integrity and my reputation matter more than anything else.
That’s why I don’t understand why people have to lie, and then continue to lie even when everyone knows you’re lying. Follow? This happened to me. Even though I know this person is lying to me…I actually have visual proof, she continues to deny the truth.
Oh well…what comes around goes around. I also don’t like to burn any bridges…you never know when someone (or a friend or family member of someone) might be able to do you a favor someday.
Consider this bridge burned.
So, in a way to help me drown out my sorrows over the last several weeks, I’ve taken to drinking pretty heavily on the weekends. I used to drink like this all the time, but not so much anymore. Anyway, I’ve realized that I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons…to hide the pain I’m feeling so others can’t see, to numb the pain for myself, to help me escape to someplace else. Whatever. It’s lame. Don’t get me wrong, I like drinking, but I’ve been drinking to get fucked up. It stops now. I’m still gonna drink, but I’m just going to keep it under control and not do it just to hide my troubles from myself and more importantly from others.
This shit will pass…hopefully sooner rather than later.